For Every Sane Reason in the Universe
by Ame no Chikara
Summary: Nothing seems real in the end for Helga. All around her, everything isn't right. Working through the answers even challenges her own sanity...
1. Waited

Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! Or any of the characters. I do own the following plot.

For Every Sane Reason in the Universe _Revamped  
Chapter One: Waited_  
by Ame no Chikara

'Darkness eclipsed over her eyes in a dull manner. Hope fell out from the bottom in evanescent pools as the silver blade drew crimson droplets from her freshly marred wrist. A slight whimper murmured its way out of her mouth before her teeth drove deep into her ruby lip. Subjugating the pain, her mind lulled out a distant lullaby of words and people, places and things left so far behind. Something in the recesses screamed out something about the stupidity of it all... how vacuous it had all been in the end, even her life. Her body had gone numb as indistinctness ran itself across the room. It was then she knew that it would soon be over.'

Helga Pataki through her pen across the room and studied the paragraph once again. A frown creased its way across her face as she diverted her eyes to the calendar. June 10th, 2014 it claimed with pride. She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor as she turned to face the clock. Eight in the evening it claimed in glowing red letters. She pushed back from her desk. It had to be about time.

She looked down again at the room key to verify the room number she had been residing in and was proud to see that it was still room 610 of the Las Vegan Hilton and that it hadn't changed within the last five minutes. "He should be here by now." Her voice echoed through the room as she jumped down on the bed. She looked back to the desk and took in a sharp breath- had she not been remembering it right?

She closed her eyes slowly and felt the wave of that sweet memory wash itself over her body again. She took in a deep breath. She could see it all again... she could see June 10th, 2007. She could even taste the air.

It had been the last day of school for her ever. Part of her was content and another part didn't wish to leave any of her school years behind. On that day, Stinky had come up to her with intent. However, not any intent that she would ever take a liking toward.

--------------------------------------June 10th, 2007---------------------------------------------

"Why miss Helga! I wanna tell you that I fancy you!" Stinky had claimed, standing proud in his cut off jeans and stained shirt. Helga's feeling at that moment had been an absolute inane moment of frustration. Her eyes rolled in all directions but Stinky's as a bored sigh emitted itself.

"Stinky, you tell me that every day..."Helga sighed, watching the clock intently. The bell had been close to its final toll as her eyes dodged between Arnold and the clock.

"But today it's different Miss Helga! I wanna marry you!" Stinky fumbled through his back pocket to pull out a cheap Wal-Mart ring. Helga looked at it briefly before taping her foot impatiently and letting the first words that came to her mind roll off of her tongue.

"Stinky, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't fancy any boy who has even just asked me on a date with tea and little bear shaped cookies! More or less you, who asks me, on the spot, for marriage. I don't 'fancy' you! Hell, I don't even like you. Got it? I don't 'fancy' anyone who 'fancies' me." Stinky's lip quivered gingerly as she had said this.

"Miss Helga...I hope you ain't tryin to tell me that you're...well... like Miss Lila and Miss Ruth. You know, screwed up in the head thinkin' theys be in love with each other..." Stinky's foot made suggestive circles on the floor as Helga kicked him fiercely.

"No, Stinky, I'm not a lesbian. In fact, I do love someone in this grade..." She said, her eyes shooting over to Arnold's desk.

"Certainly not a girl, Miss Helga!"

She cast her eyes up in a cruel manner. Curse words spat themselves through her mind as she took in a jagged breath. "What the hell does 'I'm not a lesbian' mean to you?"

"Well, I... uh..." The bell rang its way through the class as all the seniors in the room cried out in a certain relief. Helga snapped her notebook shut violently as Stinky's face budded with enlightenment. "Miss Helga, I-"

"Stinky, that was the final bell ever." Helga said, throwing her backpack over her shoulders quietly.

"Why, yes it-"

"It means I have no more reason to talk to you. I have more important things to occupy my time." She pushed her way out into the crowded hallway. "Arnold!" she yelled out to a boy making his way to the door.

The blonde turned to look at his best friend and smiled. He fought his way back to her as she made her way to the small locker that contained her coat. "Hey, you gonna walk home with me tonight?"

Helga smiled and slammed her locker shut for the last time. "Don't I walk home with you every night? Jeez, you about left me here."

The two pushed their way out of the doors silently and walked down the steps without giving a glance to one another. "So," Arnold said, breaking the silence, "I hear Stinky proposed to you today."

A hollow laugh trickled out of Helga's mouth as her eyes watched her feet hit the pavement. "Yeah. You know how that works though."

Arnold nodded and took in a deep breath. "What did you say to him?"

Helga gave the boy an estranged look. She could almost swear that sometimes he either didn't listen or had no idea whatsoever who she really was. "I told him to screw off, of course."

Arnold blinked and looked up at her with shock. "You certainly found it in your heart to say words nicer than 'screw off' whilst still keeping the same meaning, right?"

A smirk tainted its way across her lips as she shook her head from side to side. "I actually ended up being a lot crueler than just the simple 'screw off'."

Disappoint was evident for a moment before it faded to show a gentle smile. "Well, he did only buy you a 10 dollar ring at Wal Mart. That thing wouldn't have lasted until your wedding Saturday!"

"Oh, he wanted to get married tomorrow?"

"That's right... Saturday is tomorrow isn't it?" Arnold sighed as he said that aloud. "Well, one thing is for sure, he has tickets to go to California with you and he probably doesn't know what to do with them."

Helga looked at Arnold with surprise. "You mean he had enough money?"

"Well, not enough to get travelers insurance for if you said no." Arnold smiled looked up at the road signs above them. It was the intersection where they parted. It had come too soon.

"Look, Arnold I wanted to say that-"

"Hey, what field are you going into out in California?"

"Writing." Helga said quietly, looking at the road sign with disappointment. She could never do it now. She could never say it. The moment had been ruined. Not like the moment had been wonderful, anyway. If anything, it had almost been slightly uncomfortable.

"Hey, me too. Of course, I'm not leaving." He brought his wrist watch up to eye-level. "Piano in 10 minutes," he mumbled, looking up to Helga. She nodded sadly.

"See you... when I see you then." Helga said, running a hand through her long blonde hair.

Arnold looked at her for a moment; a confused fit of deja vu threw itself over him as he scrutinized the girl. She looked so familiar... but yet he couldn't place it. "Hey, tell you what. How about when we're 25, we meet in room 610 of the Las Vegas Hilton at 8 pm?"

Helga looked at him, bewildered for an unforgiving minute. "What date? Who gets the room?"

"Oh. June 10th, 2014. Whichever one of us makes the most money will get the room. And if neither one of us makes it, we'll meet outside the door of that room. Okay?" Arnold said, peering down at his watch. "I'll be late for piano if I don't leave now." He turned down his street contently.

"Don't you dare forget..." She whispered, watching the boy disappearing down the street slowly.

---------------------------------------June 10th, 2014-----------------------------------------------

Helga opened her eyes and flashed them back to the clock. The red lights flashed on and off on the time of 8:21 pm. She kneaded her hands into the bed and pushed up, forcing her whole body into an upright position. She tiptoed silently over to the door and looked out the peephole. Nothing. The hallways was filled with light and life, but yet no people.

"He knows I made it real big... what am I thinking? I hope he hasn't forgotten..." She cast her eyes slowly towards the phone and seized it with her right hand.

"May I help you?" An unctuous woman bubbled over the phone.

"Yeah. This is Helga Pataki in room 610-"

"You mean the Helga Pataki?"

"Yes." Helga hissed through the phone. "Could you tell me if anyone has seen a Dennis Arnold?"

"Oh!" The woman on the other end of the line squealed. "Are you two getting together to write a new romance novel?"

"No, we're getting together to have hot and passionate sex on your hotel beds and then we're both going to write our own accounts of it and sell it to the porn industries." Helga growled in a sarcastic manner.

"Oh... Could I come up there and watch you? I'm a big fan of you both and Dennis Arnold turns me-"

Click.

Helga grabbed her purse and opened the door to her hotel room. She pulled back her sleeve and read her watch, boasting a proud 8:27 pm. Her eyes peered desperately down both ends of the hallway before she walked her way over to the elevators.

The elevator opened with a gentle ding as she walked her way out into the casino. She looked through every nook and cranny of the place before going to the main desk. To her horror, the bubbly phone operator was operating the front desk as well.

"Do you know if there is a Dennis Arnold checked into the hotel?" Helga asked in a deep voice to ensure the girl didn't recognize her.

"Oh. There was a lady that called down looking for him. I don't know where he is. He probably changed his name in our computer system because he's famous, you know. No stalkers." The girl bobbed her head from side to side, whistling gently. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to be famous?"

Helga flinched and pushed herself away from the front desk. She had been waiting for this for 7 years... and here there was no reward for her wait. She wobbled her way out onto the Las Vegas street and looked out into the party city of lights. All her dreams were crushed.

"Hey, you." Helga turned around to look into the eyes of a hefty man. Studying him briefly, it was apparent to Helga that he was a bodyguard. "Our boss wants to see you."

She squinted at him momentarily and nodded her head. "So, you're Dennis Arnold's bodyguard, right?"

The hefty man chuckled as he grasped Helga's arm. "Not exactly, but you'll see your boyfriend, okay?" Helga jerked away from the man's grasp. "Come with me. The boss and Dennis Arnold want to see you. If you don't come, we'll take you dead, okay?"

Helga nodded in a slow fear as her stomach turned over harshly. She followed the man to wherever he was headed, with hope in her mind and fear in her heart.

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A/N: I hope you guys like my revamped stories. I plan to put out a whole series of stories that I wrote and had on the site when I was younger and took off to rewrite about a year ago.

Ame no Chikara


	2. Forgotten

For Every Sane Reason in the Universe: Revamped  
Chapter 2 Forgotten  
By Ame no Chikara

"Where do you want her, boss?" The man asked, tightening his grip on the blonde girl beneath him. The girl, better known as Helga Pataki, flinched and peered around the dark and damp room. The walls were, at one time a dull pink, but were now covered from the ceiling down to the floor in mold. Helga squirmed at the sight, afraid to look down at what she was standing on.

"Didn't I tell you already?" The silver-haired man hissed, slamming his palm on the weathered desk in front of him. The man studied the scene disgusted, his eyes shining with the utmost hate. "I recall telling you to put her over there."

The hefty henchman dragged Helga to a chair opposing his boss and pushed her down in it with blunt force. Helga writhed underneath his hand as he held her into the seat. Her heart ached with a certain fear as she eyed the slimy floor beneath her intently, making sure her feet didn't touch it.

"Let her go." The man looked up in surprise to his employer as his hands released the girl under his tight grasp. "I asked you to bring her here. That's all I wanted you for. You may leave now."

"Yes, sir." The man mumbled, turning to exit the room and not sparring even a glance back out of fear.

"Oh," His employer said coldly, "Tell Dennis Arnold his _girlfriend_ will be in to visit him. You don't have to be as nice to him as you were to Helga here. That man is not human and never will be."

Helga's head perked up at the name as the guard left the room silently. Helga studied the silver-haired man's face briefly and noticed the jaded look drawn across his face as his tired blue eyes shifted about the room uncomfortably. "Who are you?" she muttered slowly, squinting at the man opposing her.

He sneered out of disgust at the remark. Why, he wondered, did the error still persist? The way this was set up, Helga and he should have been the most important people. No diversions- there should have been nothing standing in the way. It wouldn't matter much longer- he had found a fix. There wouldn't be much more to complain about soon. "It figures." He sighed, the anger still evident on his face.

"What figures?" Helga asked, watching him closely, as if he were a tiger preparing to pounce.

"This." He carded a hand through his hair, and Helga could have sworn that she saw pain flux the expression in his eyes. She wasn't sure what to feel about her captor- he seemed so cruel and yet it was all… all too human. She stared back down at his desk again, afraid to catch any emotion that would make her any more sympathetic to his cause. This man hated Arnold- and for that, she could allow herself to feel no pity for him.

The silence between them became stagnant and the man started to speak again. "It's ironic, you know." His tone was bitter and dry, and Helga found it difficult to listen. "It wasn't ever meant to be this way. That boy is a glitch. He was never supposed to be around. I don't know what has gone wrong, but it'll be fixed. I'll personally make sure it's fixed for us, Helga."

"Look..." Helga said, giving the man an uneven glance, "I have no idea in hell about what you are talking about. For all I know, you're pulling all this crazy talk out of your ass and you actually don't know where Dennis Arnold is. Look, I don't write Science Fiction or Fantasy or Action books or whatever lame plot you're trying to sell to me. I can't write that. It puts me to sleep- kind of like you. I write_ romance_ novels. If you want an autogra-"

"Enough!" The man wheezed out, pounding his hand on the desk yet again . "I don't want an autograph from you. You really don't know who I am, do you?" Helga looked at him blankly and opened her mouth to respond, but shut it not knowing what punishment her words would earn her. The man turned in his chair to look at the picture on the back wall, hidden from the blonde girl's sight. "All of this... I do all of this for you... how long will it take for you to fall in love with me? What do I need to do? How long must this go on, Helga?"

"I'm sorry that I never met you. I'm committed to somebody else right now." Helga said coldly, giving her stock answer for every new "romantic interest," so to say. It was always awkward when another man wanted to stay with her and she had to go into the whole explanation… but, it seemed that this man- as creepy as he was- already understood her predicament.

The man sighed and nodded his head slowly. His eyes clouded over before he quickly covered them with his hands so Helga could not see them. As if by some magic, when he pulled his hand away, his eyes were cold and emotionless cerulean pits. "...I've waited for so long to purge the system of that glitch. At least for a brief moment, at least for one go, I'd have you all to myself. I'll allow you once more. Go to him. Sam will take you." Helga pushed herself out of the seat to turn to see the body guard standing behind her quietly.

Helga stared for a moment, and struggled to understand the feelings that the man brought on for her. She had never felt such sympathy in her life. Shaking it off, she followed Sam out of the room. Sam looked at her watched her intently as he began to speak in a hoarse whisper. "You know, Boss doesn't normally get that protective of his prisoners. Not like he has many. He hates Dennis Arnold. Speaks with a harsh tongue and has fire in his eyes- all that kind of stuff, ya know? With you it's near compassion. Did you and Boss once know each other?"

Helga looked up to the man as they stopped outside of a light blue metal door. She cocked her head silently and thought for a moment. "I really... don't know. He seems so familiar, yet... I can't place it."

"Ah." The man said, opening the door and nodding his head to signal it was alright for her to enter. "Boss always had that familiar essence about him..." Helga didn't hear his last few words as she was busy rushing to hold the man she had waited so long to see.

"I can't believe it's you! Did they feed you? Did they let you sleep? Are you alright?" Helga strung her words together in a fast blur. Arnold simply smiled, his eyes half-lidding as he studied Helga.

"They treated me alright..." He said, breaking the embrace. His frame was sturdy and his blonde hair had been pulled back into a ponytail. His skin was the pale color of writers only left their houses on rainy days. His strong hands lifted a suitcase off of his bed and he opened the snaps slowly. "Of course, they treated me well only because of you."

Helga was confused, but it was quickly swept away by an overwhelming feeling of bliss. It was as if it hit her all at once that they probably were only allowed a short time to speak (evil always worked that way in her novels, anyway) and that it was actually Arnold that was standing in front of her. "Why are you here? How long can you speak to me?" She asked gently.

"I have until the bell strikes 12 am." Arnold said, biting his lip nervously. "It does not matter why I am here. This place has been chosen for my domain for the past 28 trimesters. Did your psyche ever choose to indulge itself in 'For Every Sane Reason in the Universe'?"

Helga blinked and began to wonder why Arnold spoke so… coldly. She looked down at her watch in horror- they only had about fifteen minutes. Her smile began to fade as she looked up at him again. "How could I not read such a beautiful book by the boy that I am so madly in love with?" The smile stayed stained on her face, hoping the light-hearted confession of her love would go over well.

Arnold looked up to her, quite unaffected by the words that came out of her mouth. "Did my book not impact you at all?" Helga's heart sunk to her stomach as he paid no heed to statements that did not do homage to his novel. "You should be awake by now, Helga. It took 2 years of your energy to generate that book. It should have pulled at your memory and your heartstrings. Not only the latter!"

"Arnold, need I remind you that your book was Science Fiction? That book isn't in anyone's memory... unless you talk about the memory of reading it. Your book was a romance, too... and a murder mystery... a philosophical, theological, and a scatterbrained book!" Helga shook her head from side to side after hearing her harsh words. "Look, I'm sorry. The book was wonderful, but you and I have more important matters at hand."

Arnold sat emotionlessly, staring at Helga with a near static expression. He nodded his head to confirm Helga's statement slowly, reaching into his brown suitcase to pull out a small and tattered blue book. He examined it for a moment before handing it to Helga. "I guess that all it comes down to is that you're here now. This matter is more important to anything else that can be said. Just because your own book has not the power to awaken you, perhaps an actual book from my collection can."

"Arnold, I didn't write-" Helga said, being cut off by the sound of Arnold slamming his suitcase shut. She looked down at the small blue book Arnold had given her. The edges were tattered and a big white sticker on the front was pealing off. A blue bookmark ribbon hung out of it slightly, somewhere in the middle of the brown-stained pages. She squinted at the messy handwriting. "What is this?"

"It's my diary from our 6th grade summer... the one right before 7th grade. Actually, it's the only diary I didn't finish myself." Arnold said, watching the clock with a certain fear in his eyes. "It has all you need to know."

Helga looked down at the book without comprehension. "Arnold, I honestly don't see why you just don't take the time to tell me. I'd much rather you just tell me what it is."

"I am sorry, but I cannot." Arnold said, his eyes watching the floor with vicious intensity that hissed through into his voice. "I can't tell you nor can I force myself to remember how to tell you. All I know is that it lies on the page marked by that blue ribbon..."

"God dammit, Arnold... if you can't even remember what it is you have to tell me, why is it so important for me to know?" Helga asked through teeth clenched frustration.

A deep sigh escaped Arnold's lips as his eyes looked up at the ceiling, depressed. "Helga... the sentence contained on that solitary page will affect everything in your life. If anything, Helga, it is the life you live. Reading that page will change _everything_."

"But... Arnold... I don't..." Helga's voice trailed off in a random direction. Her eyes shimmered in confusion as one hand held steady to the blue ribbon lodged between the pages in question.

"Helga... do it for me..." The boy said, locking his eyes in Helga's intensely. Helga nodded and opened the book to the marked page. She cast her eyes down to the book and began to read. A look of disgust shadowed her features. She had been expecting a love confession, or something- but this…?

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A/N: Thank you for continuing to read this story!. After I wrote this story, I actually took the concept of Helga's struggle (only the basic concept) and figured out a whole plot. If you find some of the dialogue weird, it's that way for a reason. I almost tripled the words to the original chapter 2. The original was 636 words and this one is almost 1800. I hope the quality has improved, too. I've since lost the original story, though…

Ame no Chikara


	3. Twelve

For Every Sane Reason in the Universe

Revamped

_Chapter 3 Until the Clock Tolls 12_...

by Ame no Chikara

Queer stifled laughter echoed through the room. "You're awfully cute, you know." Helga said, throwing the diary on the ground without an ounce of sympathy for the book and the author of it. A baffled look tainted Arnold's face as he picked the journal off of the ground. "That definitely wasn't your hardest piece of work. Took you what? Five minutes"

"Helga... it was here." Arnold ran his hand across the pages before shifting his glance back up towards Helga. The girl looked emotionlessly up at the ceiling as she fell back upon his bed. "Helga... I don't know what to tell you..."

"Don't you? How about this- you just find the courage in your little heart to tell it to me flat out." Helga closed her eyes as she said this, waiting for the words to trickle across the boy's lips. "After all, Arnoldo, I'm not going to live forever."

The blonde continued to pace about the room, ignoring the suggestion from the other author. "I know it was there... this was my journal from 6th to 7th grade... that's when..."

"Listen, if it's so embarrassing that I have to look at a book when finding it out, why don't you just turn around to say it. Really, it can't be that hard." Her heart beat speed up as she anticipated the words to come out. This was it. She knew that this was it.

"No new information can be introduced to the system." Arnold's cold voice said metallically. An eerie silence followed as the sound of breathing began to hurt the ears like a shriek. "I didn't know the writing would disappear." His voice finally rang through the room, cutting through the silence like death's scythe.

"Look, idiot, writing doesn't disappear." Helga said scornfully, already tired of the situation at hand. This was enough for her. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't Arnold be sane right now?

He looked at her slowly, his eyes near synthetic. "The system. You've escaped the system. But you're still restricted by its rules. You must get free from the system. Do you understand?"

She sat straight up on the bed to look the boy in the eyes. His eyes were more like black holes than the caring sea green that used to be there. "Something... is wrong." She said, pulling her eyes away from Arnold's. "Something is wrong with you."

"You don't have much time. This isn't how it was supposed to end up. You're beating the system, but he's still here. He'll never kill you, but you just may kill yourself." Arnold said, his eyes glaring at the blonde with deep intensity.

"Look, Arnold, you might never have realized this... but I..." Helga trailed off as she snuck a brief look up to the boy standing in front of her, the picture unexplainably wavering in and out of focus. "I've had... I..."

"Your love for me is always what will destroy you." Arnold said, closing his eyes in pain. Astounded, Helga's heart skipped a beat. His simple knowledge of the situation stunned her. "You have until the clock tolls 12. So do I. Everyone has until the clock tolls 12."

"What do you mean" Helga looked frantically around the room, running her hands through her hair slowly. She felt her hands shaking through nerves. What the hell could it be?

He turned around emotionlessly before casting a glance over his shoulder at Helga. "After 12 o'clock tonight, your psyche will be dead. You will be free of the system."

"That's good, I guess." She said, swallowing slowly. As she looked up, she noticed his eyes had gathered together more emotion. "I mean the system thing you're talking about sounds like hell. So, whatever, right."

"You're exiting the system the wrong way." Arnold said coldly. He pushed her body back onto the bed as he pulled his face in close to her own. "You must remember what happened."

Looking into his eyes, she felt a sudden twinge of stubborn emotion awaken in her heart. Something here was unforgivingly wrong. "I don't want to remember." Her voice hissed, pushing Arnold away from her.

"If you don't remember, you'll never get out of the system alive." Arnold said, standing straight up from her sharp push. "Everything you know here isn't right- don't you understand that"

"Look" Helga said, pushing herself off the bed and grabbing her coat "I don't care if everything here isn't right or what ever the hell you're saying means. All I care about is ending up with you. Well, that was all I _cared_ about. You don't seem to give a damn about that." As she stormed her way out of the room, Arnold's hand grabbed her wrist.

"You'll regret it if you leave." Full emotion rang through his voice. His eyes shined with life like they used to when he was 11. They weren't the empty pits they had been only but a minute previously. Helga's heart melted at the sight of them. "Don't you want what's there Helga? Isn't your goal to get home one day?"

"Get... home?" She asked, her eyes brimming over with tears. "Arnold... my home is here. My home is with you." His eyes looked hurt as silence yet again reared its ugly head. "Tell me, could I love you there?"

"You know the answer to that deep down." Arnold said, his features becoming softer. She began to sob gently. "Don't cry."

"I'm no angel, Arnold, I'm the devil's advocate. Don't treat me so well." She purred, gagging back the tears that would love to flow freely down her cheeks.

"You were such an angel… ph, how you were." He cooed, wiping the tears away from her eyes. "I remember Helga. It went like this; _I hate to deny you heaven but I've had quite enough. I know that I can never become what you need most, although I love you very much_."

She shivered as the words echoed through her head. "Those words..." She cooed fearfully, snapping up rigidly. "You said them right before you..."

"Right before I...what?" He asked, standing up beside her, with the grin of a madman on his lips.

"You're..." She closed her eyes slowly, only to open them to see nothing. She shivered as she collapsed her arms around her frame to whisper fearfully. "You're dead." A bell chimed slowly in the back of her head as she plunged into the darkness of her mind, not knowing if she had made it in time or not.

A solemn thought echoed through her head as she felt herself plummet down slowly.

_...What's the system?_

_...If it even exists..._

-

A/N: Ah. Installment number 3. Thank you all my reviewers! Yes, this is the story that actually primarily involves Helga and Brainy's relationship. I hope I can finish writing the full story to this. I started a sequel to this, (I don't remember the name of it...), which I will actually tag on to the end of the Revamp. I'm writing the story this time so that the sequel is needed to explain things! (Yes, I know a lot of you right now are going "Er... Brainy? How so? He hasn't even been mentioned yet." Just you wait. He's coming in soon…)

Ame no Chikara


	4. Insane

For Every Sane Reason in the Universe: Revamped

Chapter 4: Insane

She had come a long way since the summer. That's what Phoebe and Gerald said, anyway. And why wouldn't she trust them, anyway? They had given her everything she had needed after she was discharged from the hospital. Food, clothes, shelter, constant supervision…

It hadn't been bad for Helga at first. The initial shock of being told that there was no such thing as the System; to be told that she had been in a coma since she was in 7th grade because she of an attempted suicide had kept her mind occupied for the first three weeks. All of it had seemed so wrong to her- so surreal. Everyone was just so happy that she had awoke, even after being taken off life support. She had been dying in the real world while in her head she had lived everyday… had the System Arnold been referring to just been the mental institution she had been housed in? It was hard to believe that everyday she had been in the coma she had lived out in her head- in her own fantasies. It was hard for her to cope with the pain all over again… to know that there was no Arnold here, either.

Phoebe and Gerald had taken her to their home in the Chicago suburbs after the first week. They had given her a room and told her that she could stay as long as she liked. She had appreciated it, but she was still so overcome with emotion. The first thing she remembered feeling that first night in the house was the cold longing to be held by another. _By Arnold…_ She had thought, bitterly. But every time she opened her eyes that week, she was constantly reminded about how she was alone.

For weeks after that- no, it must have been months- she had felt numb. She fell into the same predictable pattern from day to day: she woke up and got ready for the day, went with Phoebe to her law firm, typed up reports for her elementary school best friend, went home, ate dinner, recorded her day in a journal, and fell back into the same stale sleep. If she wouldn't have been so apathetic and actually thought about her routine, she would have hated it. But it took her a long time to actually realize it.

She had woke up that morning and felt different- for the first time in the 8 months that she had been out of the mental institution, she wanted to leave. She wanted to lead her own life for once. She didn't want Phoebe over her shoulder, correcting her every comma. She didn't want to sit by the fireplace and write a poem as Gerald talked about the daily news, folding his reading glasses properly. They weren't the same people she had known in her days at P.S. 118 and she wanted to get out.

She got ready in her usual manner and went down the stairs, smiling at Phoebe as she sat down at the breakfast table. "Good morning, Helga." The raven-haired woman had said in a voice as squeaky as ever, "You look really nice today."

Helga smiled softly at her friend and tucked a lock of her long blonde hair behind her ears. She had been happy that she was allowed to get it cut to shoulder length after how long it had gotten while she had been locked up. Casting her eyes down at her breakfast, she took a breath and caught Phoebe's glance again. "Pheebs… I'm going to move out."

_Clang! Pitter! _Phoebe's silverware had fallen out of her hands and landed with grand percussion on her fine blue china. Her eyes had widened to saucer size and she was flabbergasted. Helga could have sworn that she saw a sharp fear surface in the woman's eyes. Gerald rushed in from the other room, worried about what could have possibly happened to make such a loud noise. He froze as he saw his wife, studying her expression with the utmost interest and concern. "Phoebe, what is it? Baby, are you alright?"

Phoebe cleared her throat and regained composure, picking up her silverware and smiling innocently at her husband. "I'm fine." She claimed, but her voice would have conveyed anything but that. Her back had straightened more rigidly than before and she cast her focus back down at her dinner plate. "I cannot let you do that." She said, stiffly.

Helga's mouth hung agape and her mind began to run scenarios for why she couldn't possibly leave. "W-Well, why not? I'm a grown woman, you know! I'm 25 years old-"

"You're twenty-six now, Helga." Phoebe said curtly, eyeing her down.

"Twenty-five, twenty six—whatever! It's still older than what you treat me! Look, I may have been in a coma for a really long time, but that doesn't mean I'm still twelve years old-"

"You certainly do act like you are." Phoebe cut in again. Helga was fuming. She opened her mouth to respond again, but she caught something out of the corner of her eye that she had never noticed in the house before. How hadn't she seen that before? She turned her head slowly to get a better look at it and a shiver ran up her spine.

"Phoebe…" Gerald chided, walking behind he wife and grabbing her shoulders gently. "Now, Helga, you know very well that we are not supposed to let you leave until the psychiatrist says… Helga, what are you doing?"

Helga had gotten out of her chair while Gerald was talking and approached the frame that had caught her eye. She removed it from the wall and stared at the article in it. She swallowed in fear, her eyes getting wider and wider. Gerald's hand reached out to take it away from her, but she ripped it in close to her chest. Walking backwards, she carefully watched her friends in terror. "How long has this been here?" She hissed, emotion welling up in her throat, blocking her words. Gerald persisted further, but she kicked him sharply. "How long have you had this!? How long have you known?!"

Phoebe frowned with guilt and she stood up, pressing forward as well. "Helga… Helga, calm down. How did you not notice it? Oh, Helga… we should have-"

"No! No, it can't be true!" She clutched the frame to her chest as tears began to surface in her eyes again. "This can't be true!" She wanted to look at it again, read it again, verify… but she couldn't pull herself to look down at it again. Her questions… was she even asking the right questions? Of course they would have known… the better question would have been why she didn't. How could she have been the only person not to know?

"Helga, calm down…"

"Helga, we'll take you back to the hospital. Everything will be alright. Really…"

"No!" She screamed hysterically, thudding against a wall. Gerald motioned to the phone to Phoebe, and the woman nodded, briskly finding her way to the phone and dialing the numbers with a cold efficiency. _I have to leave! _Helga's mind begged frantically, _I have to leave… there has to be a way out. There has to be a way to go. Please don't take this away from me… please… This is it- this is everything I've been waiting for. It's what I've been missing. _

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of Phoebe hanging the phone back up with a click and Gerald gently attempting to pry the frame from her hands. Why would they have left this out for her to see? Why the hell would they have framed it, anyway? Suddenly, it hit her. _Go._ Her mind whispered.

She smacked Gerald with the frame, knocking him off balance for a moment, Phoebe's shriek cutting through the air. She ran to the door, opening it and slamming it faster than she ever thought possible, and then she ran like she had never ran before. She turned in unpredictable paths, winding down neighborhood streets until she was in a section she'd never been in before. All that she recognized was the highway.

Slowing down, she began to walk with labored breathing toward the bustling highway, the frame still held tight against her chest. Sirens sang in the distance and she knew that they were probably coming for her. If she was granted nothing else on this day, she knew she had to read it again- just one last time. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the frame away from her chest and read the headline once more. "_Local Middle Schooler Murders Boy; Attempts Suicide_". The date was June 11th, 2000 and Arnold's picture smiled up at her next to a rather unflattering picture of herself.

She dropped to the ground, her body hitting the blacktop underneath her feet in the sorrow. It was too surreal. She would have never…

The sirens screamed closer. It would be just a matter of minutes before they found her and she knew she had no hope. She had fled Phoebe's house with no possessions, no money, no chance at anything. Closing her eyes, she felt that all was lost. The world was crashing down on her and her vision began to dim. The last thing she heard before she hit the ground was the song of the sirens dancing over her own forlorn thought, _How could I be so insane?_

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A/N: cough Hi… As you can see, I'm writing again. I promise that I'll actually finish it this time. Heh-heh. I'll get it done before June 10th 2007 :) So, hope you stay joined on for next chapter- only two more chapters to go, actually.

Ame no Chikara

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	5. System

For Every Sane Reason in the Universe

By Ame no Chikara

Chapter 5: System

When she came to, she didn't bother opening her eyes at first. It seemed futile to her- why should she have to wake up and face her own insanity? She would rather stay with her eyes closed and imagine she was elsewhere. Attempting to keep her breathing steady, she listened intently for the hustle and bustle of the hospital, the barely audible whisperings of doctors, or the sound of Phoebe sobbing by her bedside, but none of those were there.

_Strange… How could it be so oddly-_ And there was the sound she had been waiting with dread to hear. Heavy and raspy breathing was close and it unnerved her to no end. Her heart beat began to escalate and she knew that there was no way out. She had to be back in the hospital again. They were going to tell her how unfit she was for society, drug her, brainwash her, and then-

Her eyes had opened and she was greeted by a pure white ceiling. The hospital she had been in before had textured ceilings. Tuning her head to the side, she saw a fine oak nightstand. _What the hell?_

She sat up in the bed and looked around with piercing eyes. Her sense of alarm subsided and was replaced with a new sense of extreme apprehension- why was she in a house? The room was tidy, but the decorations were dull. She wondered who could have lived in such a dull place.

The breathing had gotten closer and she turned. There in the doorway was a tall man in his early twenties, a fine china cup and saucer in his hand. His hair was of the finest silver, cropped in a military cut. His orange shirt was way too large for him, but he didn't seem to care, and wore it proudly over his faded blue jeans. Dulled behind bright silver frames, the man;s blue eyes shined, although the intensity was still almost too much for Helga to handle. She stiffened immediately and backed up against the headboard.

The man chuckled in response and didn't move, but kept a careful eye upon his prey. "Miss Helga Pataki… it's been quite a while, now hasn't it?" Helga's heart sunk and her stomach did flip-flops. The man was smiling, but it was the smile of a predator. "Do you recognize me?"

She simply nodded her head, fear shinning in her eyes. It was the Boss… the one from the hotel room in Vegas. The one that had taken Arnold and kidnapped her and… Suddenly, it hit her. That had all been in her mind. That had been—what had Arnold called it? It had been so long since she had even considered it… After all, what did it matter anyway? She had been insane…

"Oh…" The man said dully, heaving out a long sigh, "I see you only recognize me from the System." She froze and watched him with wonder. _Did he just say…?_ "Horrible place for me, really… the System." He chuckled yet again and brought the china cup to his lips. "It always portrays me the wrong way." His eyes sparkled with something that Helga could not define.

Her head was swimming with questions as she studied the man before her- how did he know about the system? Did the system truly exist? Had she escaped from it on time? Who was he? Was he anyone she had known? How did she get here, in his house? Why did he care? What the hell **was** the system, anyway?

"You're speechless, I see." He approached the bed and sat down on the edge of it, a gentle smile playing on the corners of his mouth. "Ah!" He rapidly set his cup down on the saucer- (Helga was a bit worried that he was going to spill it all) - and leaned across the bed to set it on the nightstand. Sitting back up again, he looked her in the eyes. "I bet you don't know me exactly. Or, more to say, you don't remember. I always had problems talking to you- as you probably remember me anyway.

Do you remember me from your days at your… oh, what did they call it… yes! P.S. 118?"

Helga blinked and thought long and hard about it. The man in front of her was lean and slightly feminine… she wondered what color his hair had been in school. They certainly didn't have any silver-haired boys in… unless… "Brainy?" She asked in her most uncivilized way. Her tone was more of surprised disgust than anything else. He was always a creep, but not a talkative creep…

The man beamed from ear to ear and reached up to remove his glasses. He cleaned them on his shirt while humming happily. "Why, yes, Brainy. I'm glad you remember me." He slid his glasses back up on his nose and cocked his head at Helga. "What is it?"

Helga had since cradled her head in her hands. This was all too much. When she had woke up that morning she had admittedly felt different, but she hadn't expected… this. She hadn't expected to be belittled by a best friend she barely knew anymore. She hadn't expected to find out that the reason Arnold died had been her. She hadn't expected to wake up anywhere but the mental institution- let alone the house of some creep that stalked her in elementary school. And, maybe the biggest shock of all (even though her murdering Arnold was a hard one to contend with) was that maybe, just maybe, they had lied to her about the System's existence. If they had lied to her about that, who's to say that they hadn't written some article about her killing Arnold?

She took in a deep breath and looked back up at Brainy again. How could he look at her with such affection? Such compassion? She might be a murder- she was definitely insane… they would be coming for her any minute. "Brainy… you're housing a criminal. You need to hand me over."

She began to get up, but he grabbed her wrist. She wanted nothing but to rip away, but she froze when she caught those sharp blue eyes. "The law is not after you anymore. The people from the hospital aren't after you anymore. I'm here to take you back home."

A chill ran up her spine. Brainy just became creepier by the minute. His raspy breathing had always been the thing to get on her nerves, the way he followed her around like a puppy dog, but the way that he seemed to know everything always unnerved her the most. She wrenched her wrist away and walked toward the window. She had to get some sense of where they were. "I have no home." She said, bitterly. Brainy just watched her calmly as she pulled the curtains open. She stared outside in disbelief. "W-What's this?"

"If it displeases you, I can change it." He muttered, looking down at his dull grey carpet in boredom.

Below her, Paris sprawled out in its glory. Cars raced steadily down the highway and the Parisian streets were full of color and life. It should have been cold and snowy, but everyone outside was enjoying a perfect summer day. The sun was high in the perfect cloudless azure. Everything that she was seeing seemed so real, but she knew it was impossible. "It's not that it's displeasing." She said, softly. Closing the curtains again, she walked in a daze back to the bed.

Sitting down next to Brainy, she cradled her head in her hands again. She didn't even flinch when the man slid an arm around her, rubbing her back. "I'm insane… how can I be so crazy? I killed Arnold, tried to kill myself, created some alternative reality in my mind, and now I'm in some shitty Parisian penthouse-"

"If you don't like it, I can make it look however you wish." He said again, quietly, seemingly unaffected. Helga gritted her teeth- what didn't he understand about the insanity of it all? Unless he, too, was a figment of her own deranged mind.

"I don't care what it looks like! I really don't! I just want something to make sense for once! I want everything to be real!" She closed her eyes tight. How could this be…? Opening her eyes up again, she began to shiver as she surveyed her new surroundings.

Everything around her was dark- she had been sucked into nothing. The only things that occupied it were her and Brainy. She whipped around and looked everywhere, until she finally looked at Brainy again. This was the same as the darkness she had fell through when she had realized Arnold was dead. "Where are we?" She hissed at the man in front of her. "I demand that you tell me where we are!"

Brainy wheezed out a sigh again, this time looking rather impatient. "Helga, I realize now that you've been in here for about 3 years that this wasn't the path we should have taken." He held out his hand to her and smiled. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

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A/N: Next chapter is the last and should be a wonderful explanation to all your wonders. If you would, you could mention your wonders in a **review **so that I made sure I was clear with everything I thought I had been. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. If you're enjoying it, I absolutely just adore reviews. If you don't review it makes me feel like… er… well… that I suck at writing or this story isn't something you really want to see. Or else it's not surprising, which would break my heart the most XD So… Read and Review 3 (Subtle hints, really :P)

Ame


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